New Determination

I’m almost scared to say anything for fear I will jinx myself, but I find myself with a new determination to get back on plan today.  It may have something to do with the fact that I’ve been feeling sick to my stomach all day. LOL But I have been tracking all of my food today, and actually sat down and made a grocery list for when I go shopping tonight.

Do you have any idea how long it has been since I actually wrote out a grocery list?  Especially one that didn’t have the word “cookies” written on it? 😀

So that’s my plan for right now.  To tough this out for today. Then I’ll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

My goals for today:

  • Keep counting everything I eat
  • Drink lots of water
  • Get my grocery shopping done (with a minimum of treat buying – and swear that any treats I DO buy will be ones that I can calculate points for and count)
  • Feel better.  Still feeling a bit like hell.  I honestly think the stomach issues stem from the stress I’ve been under lately with my weight, work, etc.

So I think all of those are reasonable for today.  The only one I don’t have a lot of control over is the feeling better part.  So after grocery shopping, I’m just going to rest.

Also, I have been boycotting The Biggest Loser for the past several seasons, because it was ticking me off.  The safety of the contestants seems like an afterthought and the trainers were making me mad with some of their comments.  But my friend, Skye, asked if I’d seen any of the current season as the male trainer is rather good-looking (and oh yes he is!).  I had finally gotten caught up on the last season of Supernatural (my parents bought it for my birthday which happened to be a couple of weeks ago) and had nothing better to do, so decided to give this season a chance.  I’m still trying to make my way through the first episode. It honestly was ticking me off in the first five minutes.  And Anna K. bugs me. But I’m going to at least watch the first two episodes and then I’ll decide if I want to continue.

But anyway, thank you all for the great comments you left on my last post.  Several of them brought tears to my eyes from your kindness.  I’m truly blessed to “know” you guys. Big hugs to you.

Hey, look!  Two posts from me in one week! 🙂

September 29, 2011admin 2 Comments »
FILED UNDER :Biggest Loser , Weight Watchers / Weight Loss

Out of Control

Hi all.

My eating is totally out of control. My emotions are totally out of control. My weight is getting totally out of control and I’m seeing numbers on the scale that make me cry. I feel like I’m in the bottomless pit of despair again that I can’t pull myself out of. Except I KNOW that I can…and that just makes me feel that much worse about myself.

I have GOT to get myself back on plan. I have GOT to. I can’t let this continue. I’m already feeling so low that I just can’t imagine how much worse it can get. If I’m not careful, I’m going to be at my starting weight again. I CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN.  I’m already reaching the point where I feel so bad about myself that I’m not wanting to do things and go out to certain places. I’m already getting out of breath from simple activities.

My latest struggles have proven to me even more strongly how much of a food addict I am. I look forward to meals – to when I can eat again. I crave it. Eating cheers me up. And oh the yumminess of all the things I shouldn’t be eating. The emotions I feel when I think about food are just ridiculous.

I want to be proud of myself again. I have loved ones that I want to be proud of me again. Though I know that I have to do this for myself and only I can do this.


God, just thinking about trudging down that slope again makes me tired.

But trudge I will. Starting right now. I’m going to do my very best. And I’m going to challenge myself to start writing on here again. I’m going to do my best to write every day…at least for a while…even if just about mundane, every day things. So we’ll see.

If any of you are still around and happen to read this, I appreciate your continued support. And I’m certainly going to need it.  Thanks, guys. I miss you and hope you’re all doing well.

September 27, 2011admin 8 Comments »
FILED UNDER :Weight Watchers / Weight Loss

Working on Other Things

Hi folks! As has become the norm in my blog posts lately, I’ve come to alert you that I’m still alive. 🙂

Thank you very much to all of you who have taken the time to drop me a note and check in on me. I really appreciate it. It actually means the world to me and I’m going to do my best to get back to you soon.

I’m doing okay on the whole.  Hanging in here emotionally, etc.  Food-wise and Weight Watchers-wise…yeah, well, let’s just not go there. My weight just keeps creeping up. Though I did see a loss last week and a couple of weeks before that.  I’ve been really really struggling with staying on plan, however, and I’m pretty much not succeeding.

I do have a few Non-Scale Victories (NSV) to share.  Even though I haven’t been sticking to plan or losing weight like I want to be, I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to love my body as it is now.  There are a LOT of things that really bother me about my body.  Some things I like, some things that disgust me.  But I’m working on acceptance, because this is who I am now until I get my ass back on plan regularly.  This is the body I have to live in.

To that extent, I’ve made peace with a few things.  Last month, I bought a pair of shorts! Three actually. Bermuda length, right below my knee, but still shorts! I had a couple of pairs on my last journey down the scale, but they were at a much lower weight and I ONLY wore them when mowing the grass.  But this year, since the temperature has hovered somewhere around one of the circles of hell, I got sick of jeans and just decided I was being ridiculous. I got tired of worrying about what people would think. I’m not happy with my legs right now, but they aren’t grotesque (at least I hope not). There’s no reason why I can’t wear them out and about. And so I have been. And they have become my weekend staple.  The first day I wore them out was a day that my mom and I did a lot of walking around downtown Kansas City. We went to eat and to see the new Transformers movie.  It was so incredibly hot, but I felt a lot cooler than I would have in heavy jeans.  And I felt so free. It’s silly, I know, but no one pointed and laughed. No one stared. It wasn’t a big deal.  Not a good shot, but here’s proof (and no, we won’t discuss my huge-ass feet or my ghostly whiteness LOL):

My least favorite body parts are my upper thighs and upper arms. The years of rapid weight gain and the weight I lost have wreaked havoc on my skin that no amount of weight lifting is going to help (I know this from experience). But since plastic surgery is never going to be in my budget barring some miracle, I’m trying to make peace with it.  I will definitely never be wearing shorter shorts, however. And, sadly, to my deep regret, will NEVER (never ever ever) be going sleeveless.

I have, however, gotten a little more lenient even with my shirts.  Before, I would never wear a shirt unless it AT LEAST hit right below my elbow. Most of my shirts are 3/4 length. But I’ve bought two shirts that sit a little above my elbow and have actually worn them several times. One is a little higher than I’d like, and I cringe every time I put it on and look in the mirror, but I try to ignore those feelings. Though I do spend a good deal of time tugging on the sleeves. LOL But like with the shorts, no one has said anything.  No one has made fun of me.  No kitties have died as a result. Life will go on. One woman even complimented me on the shirt at a store one day.  But again, I will definitely not be going any shorter than that.

But it is a bit liberating in a way. Tiny ways that express that I’m starting to love myself even at my current weight. Knowing now that I have friends that care about me no matter what definitely helps.

So are there any hurdles you’re forcing yourself to overcome in an effort to gain self-acceptance? Any road blocks that you just don’t think you can get past?

August 9, 2011admin 3 Comments »

Never Too Late?

Hola, folks.  It’s your long-lost friend, Pamela. I’m here. I’m alive.  🙂

To say I’ve been struggling lately is probably an understatement.  I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you all considering the very few number of posts I’ve written lately and the tone that most of them have held.  Emotionally, I’ve been a basket-case.  Physically, I’ve not stuck to plan at all.  The way I’ve been craving yummy foods makes me feel like a drug addict.  But I’ve written about that plenty of times in the past, so won’t rehash it again today.  I’ve gained weight again, and that makes me sad.  I also haven’t been to any Weight Watchers meetings in several weeks, though there have been other reasons for that.  I think I’m going to have to find a different day of the week to go or something, because Saturday mornings just aren’t convenient.  And honestly, after this month, I see myself switching back to the online program.  I am doing my best to try and track and stay on plan today, however.  I’m determined to do it.

I keep reminding myself that it’s not too late for me.  That it’s never too late.  I may feel extremely depressed by the fact that I’m back to a weight that I hoped never to see again and that I remember being completely miserable at before (I’m at the weight I was throughout my later college years), but it’s not too late for me to change that.  As long as I really have the desire and can control these insane cravings.  But having the desire is the key.

Does it bother anyone else when you tell someone that you’re going to stick to plan and they get excited for you or that you had a loss and they tell you to “keep it up”?  I know for a fact I’m overly sensitive when it comes to my weight.  I mean, talking about my weight for most of my life would feel like for me, on the embarrassment scale,  the equivalent of getting up on stage and showing the theater my private parts. 😀  But when people say those things,  even though I KNOW they’re trying to show support and encouragement, I take it as a judgment call that they think I NEED to keep it up.  And I do. I know I do.  But I’d rather just hear a “congratulations” and a “good job” and an “I support you no matter what.”  So I always cringe a bit when I get a “keep it up” response.

In other news, I’ve about had it with Meineke.  I’ve been in their shop just about every week for the past few months.  A few weeks ago, they replaced the hub assembly on my driver’s side.  I then started having problems with my ABS light coming on, and even my anti-lock brakes kicking in a few times when it wasn’t necessary.  I took it back in and they said a wire just needed to be plugged back in.  The light came back on the very next day.  This time, they said that the hub assembly that they installed was faulty and needed to be replaced.  Three days later, the ABS light came back on. Sigh.  I’ve just really had it.  Spoke to the manager on the phone today and he told me to bring it back in tomorrow morning and they’ll check it out again. So tired of this and have wasted so many hours.  And I just know they’re going to find something else that needs to be fixed. But oh well.  Not much I can do right now except wait and see what happens. And pray that they don’t jack something else up.

I was considering shutting down my blog recently.  I used to keep my blog completely separate from my daily life. I told almost no one about it.  Then I got involved with the “Lbs.” movie and had to tell my mom.  Then I joined Twitter and ended up following a whole bunch of people in my local area and since my Twitter account was linked to my blog, all of my new friends know about it.  It’s getting harder and harder to separate the two.  And it makes me nervous that new people I may meet through that venue have my blog as their first impression of me.  It’s getting harder and harder to be open and honest on here about how I’m feeling and what I’m struggling with.

Plus, I just haven’t been much in the blogging mood lately.  But I’m going to try and ride these issues/feelings out and see what happens.  Maybe I’ll come around or figure out how I can change things.

I’ve been feeling a lot lately like I’m being swept along in my life, that time is running out.  As I mentioned above, I need to keep reminding myself that yes, our life and our time are limited.  But it is never too late to take that first step again.

As I’ve also mentioned in a lot of my blog posts lately, I’ve really been feeling bad about myself.  Not just about my weight, because in some ways I’m more confident about my body than ever (though in some ways not at all), but about my personality, my lack of courage, etc.  I sometimes really wish I were more extroverted, but I honestly can’t help that.  Sure I can pretend sometimes, but it’s who I am.  I need to accept that and not beat myself up for it over and over.  It doesn’t make me less of a person.

So I’m going to keep working on the things I can work on and one of those is on loving myself.  Because it’s not too late.

In related news, I’m addicted to this song.

Hope you all are doing well and that some of you are still around. 🙂 Thanks for listening to my rambling, incoherent thoughts.

July 11, 2011admin 4 Comments »
FILED UNDER :Life in General

Settling In

Today marks my fourth day on my new schedule.  Third day with getting here by 10:30am.  Amazingly, I’m actually doing a bit better at getting here on time at 10:30 than I was at noon.  Isn’t that strange?  In fact, I was so tired, I was in bed by 12:30am last night.  But, we’ll see if it lasts. 😀  So far, I’m really liking it.  In fact, I actually get to go to a movie tonight!  I had a heck of a time finding someone that was able to go with me, but one of my friends is incredibly sweet.  She ended up going to see it last night – told a friend she’d go to a movie with them and then found out when she got there it was the same movie she was going to see with me tonight.  And she didn’t like it, but is still going to go with me! I asked her if she was sure she didn’t mind seeing it again, and she said no, because she wanted to hang out with me. That was really nice of her.  By the way, we’re going to see the new X-Men movie. Can’t wait! Am hoping I like it a bit better than she did.

Hopefully this new schedule will help me enjoy things more and get to live a bit even more than getting off at 8pm did. I’m hopeful.

Still been in a funk off and on, but have been trying not to think so much.  Anyone who knows anything about me knows that this takes herculean effort from me. 😀

One of my best friends went down to visit his mom in Webb City yesterday and today.  She teaches middle school in Joplin, Missouri, the site of a recent devastating tornado strike.  He used to live in Joplin and wrote a very moving blog post about what he saw there that just about brought tears to my eyes.  You can find it here, and I really hope you take a moment to check it out.

I also preordered Jim Butcher’s new book, Ghost Story, via Rainy Day Books here in Kansas City.  It comes out on July 26th and I will get to pick my book up on that day.  The best part about it?  I’ll be picking it up at an event where he will be signing the books and speaking!  Anyone who has been reading my blog for a while knows that I am a HUGE fan.  His Dresden Files books series is probably my favorite ever.  This will be my third time getting to meet him.  The first time was an event that he spoke at.  The man is hilarious.  The second event was just a book signing.  But this will be the biggest event for him that I’ve attended yet.  Can’t wait to hear what he has to say.  For more information, you can check it out here.

Plus, I just can’t wait to read the book. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! 😀

Ok, I guess I’ve rambled enough for today.  But I’ll leave you with a few videos that I’ve enjoyed recently.

This is just AWESOME whether you like beer or not:

What does advertising really do to our perception of women?

A great Irish PSA about standing up to homophobic bullying – very moving:

Okay, hope you all are having a good week and I’ll let you know what I think of the movie!

The Bright Side-Progress

Hi all! I hope you’re all doing well.  I’ve been meaning to drop in for a while now, but, well…got caught up in life again.

The week before last, I didn’t track perfectly, but somehow managed to get a five pound loss!  Yeah, I am still not quite sure how that happened.

This past week…I didn’t do the best. Didn’t do terribly, but didn’t track again.  I gained 1.4 pounds. But some of that could also have been water retention. So I was okay with it.

The interesting thing to note was that I weighed in at exactly the same weight that I did when I joined the Weight Watchers meetings at the beginning of April.  Sigh.  Now, at first, I considered this a failure.  As did my mom, apparently when she kind of sighed, too, as I told her.  BUT. I refuse to look at it that way.

  1. I’m still going to meetings.  Sure, I’ve missed a couple here and there, but I’m still going.
  2. I haven’t gained in 2 months.

I tweeted after my weigh in on Saturday, that I was in exactly the same place as I was at the beginning of April and Rachael responded with this:

No you’re not. You made a decision and are seeing it through. That counts as progress in my mind 🙂

Big thanks to her for reminding me of that!  And it’s so true.  If Christy hadn’t talked me into joining with her, I don’t doubt that I would probably weigh more than I did then.

So not having gained weight in the past two months? I look at as progress.

Other than that, there hasn’t been a lot going on with me.  A couple of Saturdays ago, I got to go with a friend to the Kansas City Ghosts and Gangsters Tour.  It was quite fun.  They took us on a tour bus and drove us to see various Kansas City landmarks that have spooky happenings associated with them or with gangster history.  I thought it was pretty interesting.

One place we stopped at was a church where I took my fave picture.  To look at the outside of the window that night, it just looked black.  When I saw the pic, it looks like there’s a face in the middle of it.

Other than that, I haven’t really done a whole lot except try to hang out with friends when I can.  I’ve been so busy in fact, that I (the reading queen) have been working on the same book for over a month.  I’ve been reading “Last Sacrifice” by Richelle Mead, which is the last book in the series.

But when I haven’t been out with friends, I’ve mostly been playing on the internet or watching Netflix.  I got sucked into Grey’s Anatomy for the first time a few weeks ago and ended up watching the entire first six seasons in just a couple of weeks.  So that explains why even though I’ve been working on the book for over a month, I’m still only on page 127 of almost 600 pages.  Pitiful, I know. 😀

And my new work hours were approved.  They started today.  Remember that I was the girl who did 4:30 to midnight for eight years?  I will now get off of work at 6:30 for most of the week! There is one day that I’ll continue to work later, but only until 8:30.  That’s almost a normal schedule, folks!

So we’ll see how I do when I try and get to work by 10:30 tomorrow. 😀

Hope you’re all doing well!  Take care!

I’m Here

Hi all. Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written.  I’ve started about a hundred blog posts and then gave up in the middle and then just gave up period.  Stopped even trying to write.  Because, honestly, to write on here meant that I actually had to think about things that are going on with me.  And well, better to live like Scarlett O’Hara, right?

But I thought I would pop in and say hi and let you all know that I’m okay.  I’m hanging in here.  Just trying to make it day by day.  I have good days and bad days and really good days and really bad days.

Food-wise: well, we won’t talk about that. 🙂  I AM really enjoying my meetings so far, even though I haven’t been on plan.  I lost 3.6 pounds my first week, but I’ve blown pretty much every week since then.  It’s fun going to the meetings with my friend, Christy (check out her blog – she’s great!).  And I absolutely love our leader.  She’s the perfect combination of informative, friendly, and funny.  She commented once about the new Plus plan encouraging people to eat veggies and someone in the meeting said “I didn’t need encouragement to do that.”  The leader could very well have just agreed with her or praised her, but that would have excluded all of us that have issues getting those in.  Instead, she admitted to her own failings and after telling the woman how great that was, said “well I did!”

Work-wise:  I’m in negotiations with my supervisor to possibly bump my hours up a little earlier.  Getting closer and closer to regular working hours!

Transportation-wise:  Ugh. Don’t even let me begin on my car.  Had to have my catalytic converter replaced, my resonator replaced, my tires rotated and balanced, a tire leak sealed, and am now looking at needing another hub assembly replaced on one of my wheels.  This is in addition to the over $1500 worth of repairs I’ve already had on my car this year (before the current round!).  Sadly, at least one of those was totally pointless since it turned out to actually be my catalytic converter that was the problem…or so it seems so far. I’ve become really paranoid where my car is concerned. In fact, a friend told me I’m becoming a car hypochondriac. I responded that I’ve had good reason!

Emotion-wise:  Still struggling.  Not doing quite as bad as I was, but still have my moments.  Re-evaluating a lot of things in my life.  Still sad about some things I can’t change.  Things that have bothered me for years that I can’t really talk to anyone about, and have never really been able to talk to anyone about.  But I’m plodding along, and like I said, doing better.  Been looking at the people in my life, too, and really seeing those that are genuinely there for me and those that only bring me down.  A couple of friends gave me hugs this weekend and I wonder if they know just how much that means to me and how much that was needed.

So lots going on in this head of mine.  Thank you all SO SO much for your comments and messages.  I can’t begin to express what they meant to me. I needed them.  Needed to know there were people there.  You’re the best.

So if you get a chance and stumble across this post, drop me a note, comment, or email and let me know how you are.  Miss you all!  And I’m going to do my best to get on here more often.

PS:  My heart is breaking for all those that have been touched by tornadoes lately, especially those near to me in Reading, KS and Joplin, MO.  It sounds and looks like it has just been devastating and I urge you all to do what you can to help.  I know I will.

May 23, 2011admin 5 Comments »
FILED UNDER :Life in General


I know it’s been a while since I’ve written.  I did really well my first week back on plan and lost 3.6 pounds.  I have, however, probably gained it back by now.

It’s been a rough week.

I’ve been in one seriously hellish funk of which I can’t seem to find my way out.  I’m just exhausted mentally and emotionally and seem to have been using my heart and mind and yes, even my body (though not literally) as punching bags.  Have been feeling really overwhelmed lately by things I can’t control, both having to do with myself and with my world around me, and for the most part, just accepting them isn’t an option.  But neither is changing them.  There are things that I’ve had to struggle with for years upon years that really aren’t going to change and while I can go through periods of acceptance, I’m tired – so so tired – of having to deal with them.

Been a lot of self-loathing going on in my head and heart and a lot of crying.

I know there are people that really care about me and would listen if I need to talk, but somewhere along the way, I lost the ability to talk about things that are hurting me or upsetting me.  I just can’t seem to do it.  I’ve also gotten really good at pretending everything is okay when I’m out and about.  And I know a lot of people would recommend talking to a professional, and I’m not totally ruling it out.  I just don’t think that’s the answer for me right this moment.

I’m just feeling kind of lost and a little bit hopeless right now.  But I’ll get through.  I always do.  And don’t remind me that there are people in far worse situations than I’m in.  I’m fully aware of that and instead of making me feel better about my life, it only makes me feel worse and guilty about not being happier with what I have.  I know I should be.  And then I start feeling sad about what everyone else is going through, too.  I’m just one big barrel of sadness.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in.  Going to try to do a bit better this week with my eating and will try to write more.

Even more importantly, trying to remember those things I am grateful for and those moments that do bring me smiles.

Thanks for being there.

April 18, 2011admin 15 Comments »
FILED UNDER :Life in General

Getting Back In The Groove

Hi folks.  It’s been a few days since I’ve posted, so you’re probably wondering how I’m doing and if I’m sticking to plan.  I am!  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a few not-so-proud moments and know I haven’t been perfect, but I’m getting there.  I’m slowly starting to get into a routine with my meals…for the first time since I switched my hours in October.

But can I just say that I really really really really really really really hope I show a loss on the scale on Saturday?  Even though I’ve stuck pretty close to plan, I’m still scared I won’t.  So keep your fingers crossed for me.

I’m still not sure about the new plan, but it’s nice to be able to use the Weight Watchers’ online food tracker and database again.  I can’t tell you how much easier it makes things.  And I think there is one benefit to switching over to the new plan.  It makes it newer and a bit different again.  The last time around, it was all new and I made it fun by making a game out of it.  Since I’ve always been a quantity eater, my game was “just how much food can I possibly eat and still stay within my points”?  By the time I’d gotten down to my lowest weight and I had fewer and fewer points, it wasn’t quite so much fun anymore and it was kind of old-hat.  I’m still going to go that route and still try to make it fun, but I’m not going to be quite as zealous about it, because frankly, some of the low-calorie, fat-free crap I was eating makes me want to gag just thinking about it now.  I don’t know how I did it.

I was also just thinking about some of the other differences this time around compared with last time and why this time around seems much harder.

The biggest is in the way I’m living.  Last time around, I was deep in my hermit bubble.  I was solidly in the land of “let’s avoid the world.”  Speaking of, I just have to post this song again, because it still gives me the chills every time I hear it and think of the past year of my life.

And I promise I’m not going for world record for number of times a single song/video are posted on the same blog. 😀

But last time around, I was in hiding from my brother’s death.  I had very few friends in town (most lived out of state or I’d lost touch with them – my fault).  I also hated how huge I was, so avoided going out unless I had to.  So many reasons.

Over the past year, I’ve had a lot of changes in my life.  I have a new group of friends and have reconnected with some old friends and had some old friends move to town (yay!).  Even though I’ve regained and I’ve regained weight, I’m still going out and doing things.  It’s gotten to the point sometimes now, though, where I don’t always feel quite comfortable doing things or going out, but I still am.  I’m fighting those hermit-like urges and I’m working to change what I can physically.  My friends are important to me.  I care about them a lot and I’m not letting my weight (or whatever else might be going on in my life) get in the way of me spending time with them again.

But the fact that I refused to go out last time around and never had anything I had to or wanted to do made it easier to lose weight.  I just had to stop hitting fast food on the way home.  Now, since I’m being more social, eating out is a part of my life again.

But I’m managing it.  I’ve been out every night this week so far (though I will not be going out this evening) and I’ve factored those meals into my daily points, estimating the best I could.

I refuse to give up those moments.  I refuse to miss out on life.  I remember reading someone’s blog post several months ago about how they had just made the decision to completely avoid social situations that involve food, because they couldn’t control themselves.  I understand.  I do.  It’s not easy.  But if you plan, it’s possible.  It helps if you build yourself a little cushion, as well.  I try to overestimate the points by a few when I know I’ll be eating out and check websites and menus if I can to plan what I’m going to eat.  But I also try to build that cushion for “oh hey, I might have another beer” or “well, maybe I really want the slice of pizza instead of the pretzel.”  Life happens.  And, sure, we do lots of things that don’t involve food, but sometimes you just gotta eat and sometimes there’s gonna be food.  But unlike the person who wrote that blog post, I REFUSE to give up those moments where I could be enjoying my friends’ presences just because they want to go somewhere that serves food.  I refuse to miss that smile or laugh or hug or story.

You see, I’ve learned how short life is.  I appreciate every moment.  And if it means I have to look longingly at their delicious mac and cheese or hell, even splurge on mac and cheese once in a while myself, I’m damned well going to do it.  I just need to try to be more conscious and aware of what is going into my mouth.

So far, so good.

April 7, 2011admin 2 Comments »
FILED UNDER :Weight Watchers / Weight Loss

Last (& Unofficial) Weigh-In Pre-WW Meetings

Happy Monday all!  Ok…well, as happy as a Monday can be. 🙂

For the great majority of the time that I was losing weight, I weighed in on Tuesdays.  Several weeks ago, I flipped it to Mondays.  It just seemed to work better with the new hours I’ve been working.

As you know, I began attending Weight Watchers meetings on Saturday, so my new weigh-in day is now Saturday (which is going to take some getting used to).  Since I’d only technically stuck to the plan one day (Sunday), I decided to go ahead and weigh in this morning to see how I did last week on my own.

3.8 pounds!!  And I didn’t track!  I’m now down 6.2 pounds for the past two weeks!  So proud of myself.  I also had a friend tell me that they were proud of me and supported me no matter what.  It started me thinking that I wonder if people realize how much that means to you when it comes from someone that you care about and you really value their opinion.

Yesterday, I was completely on the new Points Plus Plan.   Tracked everything in my online tracker.  And I have to admit I’m a bit concerned.  I mentioned that I felt like I might be getting too many points on the new plan, and that’s because I felt like I was eating a lot.  I went back through my tracker for the day and calculated how many points I would have eaten if I’d been following the old points plan, and it added up to about 8 more than I’d been allowing myself on the old plan (and I didn’t go crazy on the free fruit).  That’s kind of scary.

But like I said, I’m going to give this a full go for a month (unless I’m gaining like crazy).  If, after a month, I’m not losing like I want to be, then I’m going to start counting my fruits and give it another month (again, unless I’m still gaining).  If after another month, it still isn’t working, then I’m going to go back to the old plan.

I am, however, going to give the new plan an honest shot.  I just need to have a back up plan in place.  And knowing that I have options for if it doesn’t work as well as I’d hope helps keep the panic from setting in.  Because, as they’re always saying, this is a marathon, not a sprint.

Other than a bit of craziness at work (which, thankfully, has settled down), I’m having a pretty good day.  Oh – the craziness at work AND the fact that I got a little sunburned at the zoo yesterday.  I keep going to scratch my shoulders and cringing.

I’m going out to a late dinner when I get off work and am going to do my best to track it!  Already know what I’m getting.  So go me.

Oh and I loved this postsecret:

Okay, I think that’s enough rambling for me today.  Hope you’re all having a great day!

April 4, 2011admin 2 Comments »