It’s been a while since I’ve written. It’s been a while since I’ve had anything to say – and whether I even do now is, of course, questionable.
It’s been a rough few months. No, the past few months have been hell. That’s really the only way to put it. Anyone who has been following my blog for a while (if any of you are still out there – I know a couple are, and for that I’m grateful) knows that I haven’t felt well for a long while. A few years ago, when I was at my lowest weight, I went through a long period of time where I just got fed up with feeling like hell and went through a wide variety of testing – of which nothing ever came from it. I eventually got so fed up with not getting any answers and visiting so many doctors and having so many tests done, that I pretty much just gave up. After a while, I even went back and made the posts I’d created during that time private.
Well, fast forward a few years. Over those years, I’ve continued to feel crappy, but just kind of learned to live with it, I guess. And gained a lot of weight back in the process. You all know this has been a pretty rough year – starting off with my back causing me pretty bad issues again. It’s not as bad as it was at the beginning of the year, but it still gives me a great deal of trouble. But several months ago things started getting worse. To the point of being unbearable. Horrible fatigue (even worse than usual), dizziness, lightheadedness, and a variety of other issues.
I broke down and went to the doctor when I almost passed out after getting out of the shower one day. She was a bit baffled and ran some blood tests. In thinking that my PCOS may have had something to do with it and my very low anemia, she prescribed a birth control pill. This would be my second attempt at taking one. The first time around a few years ago, I never could get over the horrible nausea. I seriously felt like I was being poisoned. It was horrible. I would get seasick from just sitting and not moving.
This time around, once I got off an antibiotic for an infection I had, the nausea was bearable, but it totally jacked with my blood pressure and I ended up in the ER twice within a week. I couldn’t walk across the room without feeling like I would pass out. I barely got out of bed for two weeks. I’m still having some problems with that now, but I’m extremely sensitive to medications in general, so am trying to watch what I eat and move around more in order to stay off a BP medicine. But that may be next in my future. The one they tried me on the week I was in the ER seemed to just make things worse.
In the process, I learned that I was severely Vitamin D deficient. My level was 7. Yup, just 7. WAY low. So I’m taking 50,000IU each week and trying to eat more Vitamin D-containing foods and get in the sun more.
I’m finally feeling like I’m back to where I was before I went to the doctor, but still trying to figure out what all is going on. I had a sleep study done about a month ago and finally got the results back last week. They discovered that I do have mild sleep apnea. In fact, this possibility had been mentioned to me several years ago – during that first round of testing when I was at my lowest weight, but none of the doctors ever followed through on it. It rather makes sense due to all of my issues of fatigue, lightheadedness, concentration issues, short term memory issues, etc. It can also affect anxiety, depression, blood pressure, etc. And no matter how much sleep I DO get, I NEVER really feel rested. I sometimes even feel worse when I wake up than I do when I go to sleep.
Right now, because it did show only mild sleep apnea, it seems they want me to try other methods before attempting a cpap machine. Of course, due to the anxiety of even being there, I actually only slept for 3 hrs the night of the study, so I wonder what it would have looked like if it had been a regular night of sleep for me. But one thing they’re wanting me to try is to keep myself from sleeping on my back. This isn’t easy since I go to sleep on my side in order to keep my back from hurting anyway, but often wake up on my back. I’ve started attempting the tennis ball method which hasn’t really worked – it just ends up with me rolling halfway on my back in my sleep and waking up with an even sorer back in the morning. An oral appliance of some kind or surgery may be other possibilities (though I am very anti-surgery at this point). But I go see an ENT on Friday to see what he says. Honestly, there’s a part of me that just wishes we could shoot straight for the cpap and see if I can’t just get some freaking rest for once. But I’m going to keep giving the tennis ball trick a try.
I’m really hoping that this is the answer to a lot of the issues that I’ve been having. However, I still have the issues of my PCOS, and have been having some stomach issues that kind of point towards an ulcer that I’m needing to have checked out.
The unfortunate consequence of hitting the ER twice in one week was that I met my high deductible for the year – so owe quite a bit in medical bills. The positive consequence of that is that I can get this other stuff looked into without worrying about the cost. Unfortunately, I’m seriously burned out on doctors right now and don’t even want to deal with it.
Just tired of feeling crummy. But I’m forcing myself to do what I need to. I’m attempting to get back on plan, to eat better, and to eat things that are better for me. In fact, I started counting points again today. I’ve been trying to cut back in general the past few weeks, but am going to try to actually count for a while. But for the past few months, I’ve felt like such crap that I haven’t had the energy really to cook or put much effort into what I was putting into my mouth and I’m sure that hasn’t helped matters.
So I’ll keep you posted as far as what happens. And throughout all of this, I have actually been able to have a little bit of fun in the past couple of weeks, so I’ll tell you a bit about that in my next post.
I do hope to begin posting more regularly. I think it would do me good. Plus, I just miss some of you guys. 🙂